What’s the Opposite of Eloquent?

I really don’t want to pick on Len Elmore. He seems like a nice guy, and when he does X’s and O’s he’s really pretty good. But, I am compelled by the comedy gods to share what just came out of his mouth:

“I sometimes like to call Luke Harrengody ‘the bull in the china shop’, because he doesn’t care what he looks like, he just gets the job done.”

Yep. I challenge you to think about that for more than two seconds without bursting into laughter.